


Closure

by WhiteSnowFox



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: I just needed to get this out of my head., I wrote this for my own mental health., M/M, You don't have to read it., really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 09:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4174131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteSnowFox/pseuds/WhiteSnowFox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Molly gets married, Justin has to face a dark part of his past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closure

**Author's Note:**

> Before any of you read what is ahead, I want you to know that I wrote this for myself. The past few weeks I've been struggling with depression and anger over my own case of abuse and thought that the only way to get it out was to write about it. So I did. But then nothing changed. So now, I'm posting it. I don't care if you don't like it. I am doing this because I'm sick of feeling the way I feel. This is based off of my own experiences as a child. I'm not looking for pity. I don't want it or need it. All I want is to break free of all these bad feelings. So, there you have it.

When Justin first told him that Molly set a date for her wedding, Brian got the vibe that something was off.  He ignored it, in true Kinney fashion, because he figured that if something really was wrong Justin would tell him eventually.  Then, he chalked it up to Justin having a bad day because just a few days later he seemed back to normal.

Then, a few weeks after that when the official invitation came in the mail, Justin seemed to be off again.  He immediately began questioning whether or not they could even find time to go with their busy schedules.  That was when Brian realized that Justin hadn’t had an off day, but was irked by something to do with Molly’s wedding, he only didn’t know what it was.  However, after Justin’s few passing comments he seemed to let it go again.

Brian refrained from mentioning anything; he simply let Justin’s comments slide and made sure that his schedule was clear in June for the weekend of the wedding.  He had come to care a great deal for Molly over the years and wanted to be there for her on the big day.  She was far preferable to his own sister, whom he couldn’t stand.  Molly had grown up to be just as in-your-face as her brother and that was an attitude Brian could agree with.

So, he wanted to be there for himself just as much as he wanted to be there for Justin.  He simply couldn’t understand why Justin was being so weird about it.  He didn’t think they were fighting – at least he hadn’t heard anything about it.

He wanted to let it go, but the closer Molly’s wedding came, the more Justin began talking about how many paintings he needed to get done for his next show.  He found that odd because Justin’s show was another three months after the wedding – more than enough time to finish the paintings he needed.  Still, he let it go.

Then, it was only two weeks before the wedding and Justin approached him about how busy Kinnetik must be and how he would understand if Brian didn’t have time to go all the way out to Nebraska for the wedding.  That was when Brian decided that he needed to get to the bottom of this.  Justin should want to go to Molly’s wedding, and yet it seemed whenever it came up he was talking about how he couldn’t.

“Actually,” Brian said casually as he swallowed his bite of dinner that Justin had made – Jambalaya, his favorite.  “I’ve already cleared out my calendar for it.”  He said as he pushed aside a few grains of rice for a piece of juicy shrimp.

Justin, who was sitting on the next corner of the table turned to his side to look at him, clearly surprised.  “You did?  But…Well…I thought I told you that I was behind on the paintings and-.”

“So you could tell your sister that is was my fault we didn’t go?  I don’t think so.”  He muttered with a roll of his eyes.

Justin silenced and looked back down at his bowl.  After a few awkward moments passed Justin sighed and looked back up.  “So you’re planning on going?”  He asked and Brian nodded and looked firmly at Justin.

“Well yeah.  It’s your sister’s wedding.  I thought you were planning on going too.”  He said, setting his fork down to cross his arms over his chest.  “What is going on?”  He asked, leveling Justin with a serious look.

“What?  Nothing.”  Justin’s attempt to feign innocence was laughable, so Brian laughed.

“Please.  Ever since Molly set a date you’ve been trying to think of ways to get out of going.  Why?”

“I want to go to her wedding.”  Justin insisted, pointedly taking a sip of wine afterwards.

“Could have fooled me.”  He muttered back before leaning forward and reaching his hand out to lightly grab onto Justin’s wrist.  “Tell me what’s going on.  I just don’t understand.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”  Justin muttered, jerking his hand away from Brian’s touch as if it was scalding him.  Brian even jumped a little out of surprise.

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth, and mentally debated on whether or not to push it.  He then decided silence was the best option.  Justin would open up to him when he was ready; they had never demanded complete openness from each other before and he wasn’t about to start demanding it now.  He then went back to eating, but looked at Justin from the corner of his eyes.

“So you’re behind on your paintings then?  What’s the problem?”  He asked instead.  He honestly wasn’t trying to be passive aggressive, but if Justin believed he was falling behind, then he wanted to know what got the blond stuck.  Maybe it had something to do with why he didn’t want to go to Molly’s wedding.

“Nothing just…I stare at the canvas and don’t…”  Justin sighed and shook his head.  “See anything.”  He finished in a small whisper.

This would hardly be the first time Justin had a block in his art.  Typically, Brian could fuck him out of it, but lately it never seemed like Justin was in the mood.  Every night when he would reach out and try to pleasure him, Justin would roll away saying he was tired.  Now, he usually didn’t mind.  It wasn’t the first time Justin hadn’t felt up to intimacy.  However, the last time he went this long without fucking Justin they weren’t monogamous.  Now, he had nowhere else to go to satisfy himself other than his right hand.

“Well maybe a break would be good then.  Spend some time with your family and then come back to a whole new perspective.”  Brian recommended casually as he finished off his dinner and then took a big drink of his wine.  The atmosphere was anything but comfortable, despite his attempted to reach out to Justin.

“Brian…”  Justin sighed and shook his head.  “I just said I didn’t want to talk about it.”  He reminded and so Brian held his hands up in defense.

“You’re right.  I’ll drop it.”  He promised and then stood and began clearing up the dishes.  “You want more wine?”  He asked as he passed the bottle on the counter on his way to the sink.

“No.  It will just make me sleepy.”  Justin spoke cryptically.

Brian eyed the clock and frowned.  It was already ten, this was usually the time they went to bed on a weekday.  He shrugged it off, though, as a simply miss-speak, and then walked back and picked up Justin’s bowl for him.  He hadn’t eaten much.  He’d mostly just pushed the food around the bowl.

“How about we take a bath tonight.”  He suggested as he stood behind Justin and rubbed his shoulders.  “You can put in all that smelly shit that Emmett bought for you last month.”

“I don’t think so.”  Justin said in a civil voice, but Brian could hear the rejection.  He honestly didn’t know how much longer he could go.  He withheld a sigh and bent his head down to place his forehead on the top of Justin’s head.

He stopped massaging his shoulders, but held them then as he kissed him softly.  “I love you.”  He whispered and then let his arms slid forward across Justin’s chest.  He pulled him back against the chair and closer to him in an embrace.

“I know.  I love you too.”  Justin answered as he patted his arm, but it was missing the usual warmth that accompanied Justin’s usual declarations of love.  Brian nodded a few times and then kissed him again before letting him go.

After nineteen years of being together Brian felt like he had learned to read Justin pretty well. He knew that for whatever reason, Justin wanted space right now.  So, without another word, he left the kitchen and went into his home office.  He simply grabbed a few files before walking upstairs to their bedroom.  He set the files down on the nightstand on his side of the bed and then went to the bathroom to quickly get ready for bed.

As he walked back out he glanced over to the small coffee table off in the corner of their room, by the window.  He looked at the display case sitting on it, proudly showing off their gleaming platinum rings.  They never did end up using them.  When Justin had returned from New York over a decade ago neither of them had brought up the aborted wedding and they simply settled into the life they had now.  Brian was perfectly happy with the way things were – he never really wanted to get married anyways.  But Justin had been so happy when he proposed.

He could still remember the smile on Justin’s face when he did it.  The joy, the bliss…He had only wanted to make Justin happy, and he would have married him and been happy about it himself.  But if he was being honest he preferred things stay the way they were.

He looked down at the rings for a few long moments before he realized Justin might see him looking at them.  Brian set them down like a child who didn’t want to get caught with a stolen treat.  He walked back over to the bed and slid into his side, opening up the top drawer to find his reading glasses.  He used to hate the fact that he needed them.  Then Justin made a big deal about how debonair he looked when he wore them and how much it turned him on; he ended up getting used to them.

Brian started reading over the contracts as he had and waited for Justin to come upstairs.  Nearly an hour passed before he did.  Justin slid into bed without any fuss and quickly rolled onto his side facing Brian.  It gave the man a little comfort.  Justin’s hand then reached out and rested on his hip.  Justin often did this on nights when he was feeling vulnerable.

Brian decided that things had gone too far.

He set aside his files and took off his glasses before turning off the light and turning to Justin.  Without a moment’s hesitation Justin slid into his arms and pressed himself against him.  Their legs intertwined and their bodies pressed together.  Justin didn’t say anything, but pressed his face into Brian’s neck and held on tightly.

After a few moments Brian shifted just a bit so his mouth was right next to Justin’s ear.  Never one to beat around the bush, he simply spoke what he suspected.  “Are you upset we never got married?”

He felt Justin tense beneath him and lift his face so they were looking into each other’s eyes.  “What?”  Justin asked, looking over at Brian in the dark of their bedroom.

“Our wedding.  We cancelled it when you went to New York and then when you came back we just never planned another one…I know you didn’t push it because of me.  But are you upset that we didn’t?”  He asked, raising a hand to cup Justin’s cheek.

“No.  _No_.”  Justin insisted, covering Brian’s hand with his own.  “I’m fine.  Why would you think that?”  He asked, shaking his head just slightly.

“Because you clearly don’t want to go to Molly’s.  I thought it might be because you were upset that we never had one.”  Brian admitted and even looked over towards the table that held their rings.  However, it was so dark that Justin probably didn’t see.

“Brian, I like the way things are between us.  All I want is to spend the rest of my life with you.  I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that you want the same thing; I know you do.”  Justin said and squirmed closer to place a ghost of a kiss on Brian’s lips.  “That’s not it.”  He assured, but that only made the worry settle deeper in Brian’s heart because if that ‘wasn’t it’, then something _was_ wrong.

“Then what?  What is it?”  Brian insisted, needing to know.  He wanted to fix it – he wanted to make it all better – but he couldn’t if Justin didn’t tell him what to fix.

Justin sighed heavily and leaned his head in against his neck.  Brian tilted his head back just a bit to give him room, and then held Justin closer to him.  “Please, tell me.”  He whispered against the top of Justin’s head.  “Please…” He added as Justin began shaking in his arms.

Suddenly, Justin pushed him away and roughly sat up on the edge of the bed.  He kicked the blankets away and held his head in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees.  Brian leaned back out of shock and a bit of hurt, but then sat up as well and looked at Justin’s back.

“John is going to be there…”  Justin suddenly murmured, and Brian shook his head slowly, trying to figure out if Justin had told him about this ‘John’ before, but nothing came to mind.  Before he could ask who John was, Justin continued.  “He’s my uncle.  My mom’s brother.”  He added for clarification.  Justin sighed heavily and slowly turned back to Brian.

When Brian saw the near devastation on Justin’s face he scooted across the bed and placed a hand on Justin’s shoulder.  Justin leaned back against his chest and they ended up settled against the headboard, Justin between Brian’s legs.

“When I was a kid, probably ten or so, he…”  Justin tensed again.  “Raped me.”  He finished and Brian felt like the air had been knocked out of him.  Brian couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t move.  All he could think was that someone had hurt Justin and he needed to make them pay.  _‘How come he never told me this?’_   He wondered briefly, before realizing Justin was waiting for him to say something.

But he didn’t know what to say.

‘I’m sorry’?  It seemed so trite compared to what Justin just revealed to him.

“Let me help you.”  Is what he settled for instead.

His heart ached now, knowing what happened to Justin.  He would undergo any amount of pain to spare Justin the slightest hurt…Justin was more than just his partner.  He was everything to him.  He was the only man he had ever loved, and the only one he ever would.  He knew that Justin was the one who was going to be by his side until the day he died.  Justin was….his.  There weren’t words for just how much he loved Justin.

Justin then began to describe what had happened.  How, for six months when his uncle was living with them, he was repeatedly molested and raped.  How he was too afraid and confused to say anything.  How, when his parents found out about it they swept it under the rug to save face.  How they didn’t even ask his uncle to leave but simply made sure Justin and Molly weren’t alone with him anymore.  How he was forced to sleep next door to the man who had attacked him.

Every word that came out of Justin only served to make him angrier and angrier.  He wanted to hunt down Justin’s uncle and make him suffer for what he did.  Not only that, but Jennifer and Craig as well.  He’d always liked Jennifer before, but he couldn’t understand how a woman who he knew loved her children, would allow for this to happen.  It was an atrocity.

While Justin told him what happened he didn’t say a word.  He didn’t dare interrupt because he feared it might make Justin less willing to continue and if he knew anything, it was that Justin needed to talk to someone about this.  He would occasionally rub Justin’s back, or run his fingers through his hair, silently offering his support.

After nearly an hour of pouring out his heart, Justin stopped.  He was crying, Brian could tell by the occasional skip in his voice, but he wasn’t shaking or hiccupping uncontrollably.  When it was clear Justin wasn’t going to say anymore, cleared his throat a bit and shifted.  “Molly doesn’t know, does she?”  He asked and Justin shook his head against him.

“She was too little when it happened.  She had no idea.  Then…we all just tried to forget.  I tried to forget.”  Justin said, his voice muffled against Brian’s neck.

Brian suddenly thought about the bashing and all the times he told Justin to simply forget about it.  Clearly he had been giving Justin the wrong advice.  “Maybe you’ve been trying to forget for too long.  Maybe now it’s time to get it all out in the open.”  Brian suggested, and then bent his head down to look down at Justin again.

“Perhaps confronting your mother and uncle would help you.”  He suggested and then leaned over to turn on the lamp on the nightstand to see better.  “Telling them what you feel might help get it all out.”  He added in a whisper.  Justin’s breathing was slowing down to a regular pace and Brian could tell he stopped crying.

“I’m surprised to hear _you_ say that.”  Justin said, turning in Brian’s lap so he could look up at him.

“Yeah, I know.  I’m the poster child for bottling feelings.”  Brian rolled his eyes a little and then turned serious again.  “But you aren’t me.  We deal with things differently.  After almost twenty years I think I’ve figured that much out at least.”

Justin smiled weakly at him and then laid his head on his shoulder.  “You really think I should?” He asked in a whisper and Brian nodded against his forehead.

“I think that it will help you.  I think that they deserve to know that they were wrong.  And I think that you deserve to be there for Molly.  You’re her brother, she loves you and she wants you there.”  Brian said as he held Justin close and secure.  He had to make sure none of the anger he was feeling came through on his tone, he didn’t want Justin to think it had anything to do with him.  He didn’t add that he wanted to give Jennifer, not to mention John, a piece of his mind for hurting Justin like this.

Justin let out a long breath then and pressed a kiss to the side of Brian’s chin.  “You’ll be there the whole time?”  He asked as if that was ever in any doubt.

“Every second.”  Brian vowed and then smiled when he felt Justin nod against him.

“Ok.  I’ll go.”

* * *

Justin was a bundle of nerves the day of the wedding.  He was pacing back and forth in their hotel room and couldn’t even manage to tie his tie.  Brian had to do it for him and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose when he finished.  “It will be alright.”  He promised as his hands rested firmly on Justin’s shoulders.  “He can’t hurt you again.  You’re a grown man now; not a child he can manipulate and take advantage of.  And I’m right here.”

Justin gave a weak smile up at him and then reached a hand up to brush at the gray hairs that dusted Brian’s temples.  “I love you.”  Justin said tenderly and Brian smirked a little.

“Obviously.”  He said before spinning Justin around and walking them out the door.  “Now let’s go.  It’s a big day.”

As they walked down to the ballroom where the ceremony was being held they were fine until they got to the door.  Justin came to a screeching halt and Brian could tell that he was considering simply making a run for it.  So, before Justin could think too much, he grabbed his hand and pulled him through the door.  Justin resisted at first, but then started walking confidently next to him.

They sat near the front where seats were reserved for family members.  Brian wrapped an arm around his shoulder and casually scanned the hall.  There were a good number of people already seated, waiting for the ceremony to begin, but so far Jennifer and Justin’s uncle were unaccounted for.  Granted, Brian didn’t know what he looked like, but he knew that he’d recognize him when he saw him.

After ten or so minutes passed Justin seemed much more comfortable and had stopped squirming in his seat.  Instead, he was sitting casually and talking to a couple behind them.  Brian let him, glad Justin didn’t drag him into the boring conversation.  Then, he looked to the side doors and saw Jennifer appear, dressed elegantly and looking prim and proper.

His emotions felt twisted and confusing.  He had respected this woman for so long for her support of Justin’s life.  And yet, now he had to reconcile what he’d learned with what he thought he knew.  He watched her turn back out of the door as if she was waiting for someone and he stiffened in preparation until he saw Tucker emerge.

Relieved, he relaxed once more and was even able to smile as the two walked over to them.  Greetings were exchanged and Jennifer hugged Justin briefly before sitting down next to him.  Not long after that, the ceremony began.

Molly was beautiful, of course.  She had grown into a lovely woman, confident and sure of herself.  Craig had put on weight and was balding – much to Brian’s delight.  He looked pathetic standing next to his daughter as he walked her down the aisle.

While the vows were exchanged he couldn’t help but scan the crowd again, but there was still no one who stuck out to him.  _‘Maybe he didn’t show.’_   He thought, knowing Justin would be relieved to find his uncle never came.  Still, he wanted Justin to be able to put this behind him and get the closure he deserved.

When it was over and they retired to the banquet hall for the reception Justin seemed even more comfortable.  After Molly and her husband shared their first dance, Brian took Justin out on the dance floor and they spun together naturally.  Molly asked them both to dance with her, so while Justin went first, Brian walked back to the table and sat down, picking at an appetizer on his plate as he watched Justin and Molly dance with a smile.

He was letting his guard down when it seemed clear that John wasn’t going to make an appearance at the reception either.  So, he didn’t worry about Justin while he danced with Molly.  But, as he was dancing, he spotted Jennifer off in a corner talking to someone.  The man had blond hair, was tall and thin, aging gracefully just like Jennifer.  _‘Shit.’_   He cursed, his distraction causing him to accidentally trip during his dance with Molly.

“Sorry.”  He apologized quickly, but she shrugged it off with a giddy smile.

“I’m glad you and Justin came.  It means a lot to me.”  She said and Brian forced himself to focus on her, because she deserved that much.  He only wished he could give a warning to Justin.

“Well, you’re important to both of us.”  He answered her honestly as he spun her under his arm.

“You know, when I was a kid and Justin first introduced me to you, I had the biggest crush on you.”  She admitted with a blush on her cheeks.

Brian couldn’t help but give a small laugh at that as well.  “Don’t worry.  You wouldn’t have been the first woman to want me.”

“Oh I’m not surprised.”  Molly spoke humorously.  “But I guess things worked out for the best.”  She added, casting a dreamy look off in the direction of her new husband.

Brian walked her over to him and kissed her hand.  “Yes, it did.”  He said before bidding her farewell and walking back to Justin.

“He’s here.”  Brian informed immediately, wishing he didn’t have to be so blunt but Justin needed to know from him before he spotted his uncle on his own.

Justin immediately stiffened and sat up in his seat, gazing around desperately until Brian pointed him in the right direction.  Brian watched his face carefully as he looked at John; he saw fear and pain, but also the same determination that he’d always admired in Justin.  “Do you want to do this now?”  Brian asked and Justin moved as if to stand, but then shook his head.

“No.  I want to wait until Molly leaves.  I don’t want to steal her spotlight.”  Justin said, glancing to Brian.  “Is that ok?”  He asked and Brian just reached out and held his hand.

“Whatever you want.”  He promised and they both turned their backs to Jennifer and John.

As the reception continued Brian couldn’t help but think about their aborted wedding.  Ultimately, he was glad they didn’t have one because he still didn’t believe in marriage – he and Justin were together because they wanted to be.  It just so happened that they wanted to be together for the rest of their lives.  But that was true regardless of a wedding or a paper telling them so. 

“I’ll be right back.  I have to use the restroom.”  He said and Brian nodded.

“You want me to go with you?”  He asked, for once not meaning it in a sexual way.

Justin seemed to consider it, and then shook his head.  “No.  I’ll be fine.  I’ll be right back.”  He repeated and then turned to go.

Justin had been blocking his view, so Brian didn’t see him until it was too late.  He stood and tried to grab Justin’s hand to stop him, but instead he grabbed air and Justin ran directly into his uncle.  Justin started apologizing until he realized who it was.  He then stumbled backwards and almost fell over until Brian grabbed him and steadied him supportively.

“John.”  Justin clipped out, clearly surprised.

“Justin.”  The man answered, looking just as uncomfortable.  “You know, I actually wanted to talk to you…Can we step outside?”  He asked and Brian had to clench his hands at his side to prevent himself from punching the man.

Justin looked at Brian desperately, but he knew he couldn’t answer for Justin.  This had to be his decision.  When Justin realized he wasn’t going to say anything, he began nodding.  “Yeah…I guess…”  He murmured meekly and then grabbed Brian’s hand as they walked out of the reception hall.

Brian caught Jennifer watching them as they left, but she didn’t follow.  He didn’t care; he’d give his piece to her as well.

They kept walking until they were completely outside the hotel.  Justin’s grip on his hand was like a vice, but he didn’t care.  If Justin needed to squeeze all the blood out of his hand he’d let him.

Eventually, John came to a stop beneath a tree in the garden outside and turned back to face them.  “You must be Brian.  Jennifer told me about you.”  He said and actually held his hand out as if Brian would shake it.

Brian looked at the hand, and then slowly raised his gaze up to give John the most hateful stare he could muster.  John coughed uncomfortably as he pulled the hand away.  “So I guess Justin told you about…the incident.”

“Is that what you call it?”  Justin asked incredulously.  “What you mean is when you locked me in your room and raped me.”

John looked down at the ground and slipped his hands into his pockets almost innocently.  It made Brian sick.

“Yes.  I guess if you want to get technical.”  John said, his tone defensive.  “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what I did.  I didn’t think you would remember and -.”

“So that makes it ok?!”  Justin shouted, letting go of Brian’s hand to shove John away from him.

“I didn’t mean that.  I just meant-.”

“No.  You don’t get to talk.  I get to talk.”  Justin said, pulling himself up to his full height.  “You know how screwed up you made me?  When I started looking at guys and thinking they were hot I didn’t know if it was because of what you did to me, or if it was because that was who I am.  I was scared that you’d broken me somehow.  That because of what you did, I’d grow up and do the same thing.  It wasn’t until I met Brian that I realized that not all gay men are like you.  That there wasn’t anything wrong with me.  That you were the one who was screwed up.”  Justin pointed at him accusingly and his jaw jutted out in anger.

“I looked up to you.  You were my fun uncle John.  And in return you used me, and lied to me.  And all this time I’ve let you get away with it.  But not anymore.  You raped me, when I was only ten years old.  You’re a monster.  I don’t care if you think you’ve changed, or that you’re all better now.  But nothing you do or say will take away what you did.  But I’ve grown past it.  And you have no more power of me.”  Justin spun suddenly then and stalked back into the hotel.

Brian didn’t know if he just assumed he would follow, or if he didn’t care.  Either way, he lingered behind and eyed John.  He didn’t say anything, but moved over to him as if he was going to apologize on Justin’s behalf.  John looked ready to hear him, but instead received a hard right hook in his jaw.  “Don’t ever approach Justin again.”  He warned.  “Don’t look at him.  Don’t talk to him.  Don’t even think about him.  As far as you’re concerned, Justin doesn’t exist.  Understand?”  He asked in a low, menacing tone.

John nodded twice, holding his throbbing jaw.  Brian smiled broadly.  “Good.”  He turned and walked away from him, determined to find Justin to tell him how proud he was of him.

When he got back inside, however, Justin was nowhere to be seen.  He frowned and scanned the reception hall again, but still couldn’t see the familiar mop of blond.  _‘He must have gone back upstairs.’_   He realized and was going to leave until he saw Jennifer.

Figuring now was as good a time as any to confront her about her deplorable parenting skills, he walked up to her.  “A word, Mother Taylor?”  He asked and took her arm, leading her out of the ballroom.  He didn’t make them leave the hotel completely, because as angry as he was with her, he wasn’t going to react the same way he did with John.  Jennifer still had some of his respect and he needed to remember the positive things she’d done for Justin.

“What’s going on, Brian?”  She asked curiously as they sat on a couch in the reception area of the hotel.

“I need to tell you that I know about what happened with Justin and John, and that the way you handled it makes me sick.”  He said abruptly.  He could see the shock on her face before it settled into a look of shame.

“Brian-.”

“No, Jennifer.  Listen…Justin is your son.  You were supposed to protect him, and instead you let him down.  Don’t forget that I’m a parent too and if _anyone_ hurt Gus the way Justin was hurt I wouldn’t stop until they were in prison.  Preferably I’d want them dead but I would want them to have to live with what they did.  So why didn’t you press charges against him?”  He demanded, his voice hard and cold.

“You don’t think that I wanted to call the police?  That I didn’t want John in prison?”  Jennifer asked, placing a hand over her heart.

“Well he wasn’t arrested.  He wasn’t sent to prison.  Not only that, but you didn’t even make him leave your house.  Why, Jen?  Why?”  He demanded, wanting to be able to give Justin an answer when he went back upstairs.

“He’s my brother…He just made a mistake.  He wasn’t going to do it again and I made sure he was never left home alone with the kids.”

“That doesn’t matter!”  Brian yelled and then cringed and lowered his voice.  “He raped your son.  But for some reason, it seems like I’m the only one who actually cares about that.”

“Well, Brian.  It was a long time ago.  I’m not sure why you feel the need to drudge it up now.”

Brian threw his hands up in defeat.  “I can’t believe this…”  He muttered as he ran a hand over his face.  “Justin didn’t even want to come to the wedding you know.  Because he knew that John would be here.  Because he was afraid.  And you’re wondering why I’m ‘drudging’ it up.”  He scoffed and shook his head.  “I used to respect you, Jennifer.  I used to think that Justin was lucky to have you for a mother.  That all you wanted was for what’s best for him.  But you don’t.  Not with the things that really matter.”

“Now Brian, that isn’t true.  I have always supported Justin.  When he came out I-.”

“Took him to a therapist to see if he could be _healed_.  Packed up his things and literally threw them at me because you weren’t willing to fight your husband to bring him home where he belonged.  Told him that the needs of the family outweighed his needs to be accepted for who he is.  Yeah Jen…A plus parenting there.”  He muttered, recalling with detail how hard it had been for Justin when he came out.  He had hated it at the time – the last thing he needed was Justin living with him – but now that they’re older, he was glad he was there for Justin when no one else was.  He was glad that he listened, even if he was bored while Justin was telling him.

It seemed like a lifetime ago, but the more he thought about it, the less he thought Jennifer handled it as best she should have.  Granted, she came around, but it wasn’t the full blown support he had thought it was.

“Just…admit that you handled it badly.”  Brian asked of her.

She nodded once and looked down at the ground.  “I did.”  She said softly.  “When I found out what John was doing I was shocked and…sick.  I wanted to take Justin and run away but Craig didn’t want anyone to know that his brother in law was not only gay, but also a child molester.  I let Craig talk me into sweeping it under the rug.  He said Justin was young – he’d probably forget it even happened.  I’m not trying to say that it’s all Craig’s fault…But, I was weak.  I couldn’t stand up to him.”

Brian nodded, knowing that it was at least the truth.  It might not have been a good reason, but it was the only one she had to give.  After a moment of silence he stood and sighed.  “I got to go find Justin.”  He said by way of parting.

Jennifer jumped up after him and grabbed his arm.  “Will you tell him I’m sorry?  And that…to call me, when he wants to talk?”  She asked him and Brian nodded and pulled himself free.

He rode up the elevator back up to their floor and walked to their room.  After slipping the keycard inside he wasn’t surprised to see Justin sitting on the bed, tears running down his cheeks.  Brian’s heart broke a little, and he walked up to kneel in front of Justin.  He wiped his tears away and kissed him with all the tenderness he could muster.  Then he sat next to him and held him.

As they sat, Brian got an idea and pulled out his phone.  Quickly getting what he wanted, music started filling the room.  Justin jumped as the tune started playing, but then relaxed and allowed Brian to pull him up to his feet.  “You were still a teenager the last time we danced to this song.”  Brian said as he held Justin close and swayed them back and forth.  “You were wearing a suit, just like this one…We were in a hotel, just like this one.  And we danced perfectly.”

Justin looked up at him with wonder; with the same look of worship he had worn that night.  Love.  Pure love.  Brian’s heart burst and he kissed him before spinning him around, careful of the small room they had to work with.  “For so long I hoped you’d remember what happened before Hobbs attacked you.  But then I thought, why should I try to make you remember?  Why not just make new memories?  So, I had this song planned to play on the day of our wedding.  I know you had planned something else, but I’d already spoken to the DJ and he was going to surprise you…We never got that dance.  So this one will have to do.”

Brian looked down at him and saw he was smiling and his tears had stopped.  He stopped talking and simply let the song say everything he wanted Justin to know.  When it was over, he cupped Justin’s hands in his and pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“I’m proud of you.”

Justin shrugged.  “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Obviously.”  Brian answered and Justin chuckled a little.

Justin took off his jacket and tossed it on the bed.  “God, I’m so fucking tired…”  He muttered and Brian stripped them out of their clothes and laid down with Justin.

“I told you it was a big day.”  He reminded and Justin nodded absently against his shoulder as he started falling asleep.

“Yeah…But it was good.  I feel better.”  He admitted and Brian smiled.

“Good.”

* * *

 

When they returned home a few days later Brian was glad to see Justin went immediately to his studio.  Apparently his block was gone – just as he had predicted.  He took their things up to their room and dumped them in the closet, deciding to deal with them later.  He was going to walk back out to his office when he paused and looked over at the rings in their display case again.

He walked over to them and slowly picked up the container, handling it with great care.  After gazing at them for a few minutes he rolled his eyes and shook his head.  “Fuck it.”  He muttered and opened up the case.  He took out his ring and slid it on his finger, surprised by how good it felt, and how right it looked.

Grabbing Justin’s, he walked down stairs to his studio and slyly slid it on Justin’s finger before the blond knew what was going on.  Justin looked down at his hand, and then Brian’s.  He smiled a bit and then wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck before giving him an amorous kiss.  “I always knew you were a closet romantic, Kinney.”

“Well, I figured we might as well get some use out of them.  They’ve been siting there for over ten fucking years, after all.”  Brian defended and Justin nodded his head a few times, but it was obvious he didn’t believe him.

“Uh huh, sure.  Whatever you say.”

Brian made love to him right there on the floor of his studio.  He knew that Justin wasn’t over what had happened.  He had made a step forward, but he was sure there would be other storms to weather.  And he was also sure that he’d always be there to help get Justin through it in one piece.


End file.
